Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral - or Human?

My blog today is going to cover a pro-life issue, from a slightly different perspective. Reading the book, which Terri Schiavo’s family wrote about her, “A Life That Matters”, I definitely have a few thoughts to share with you today, that you might find of interest.

Apparently, when Terri was a child and on into her teen years, she had a bit of a weight problem. She was not always the svelte image we have seen in the pics of her in her later years. Apparently, her weight problem kept her out of a lot of social activities throughout her school years, and though she did not have a complex, she nevertheless shunned the spotlight, only hanging out with close friends and family, or keeping to her room.

Once she had decided to lose the weight, under a doctor’s supervision, she became the physical vision of loveliness which ultimately attracted her husband Michael Schiavo. Of course, her parents and family, all knew that she had always been a lovely girl from within, as well as without; long before her physical transformation. Still, let’s face it; physical beauty always has a lot more ability to attract the opposite sex, than the lack of it. But what does it really attract?

We continually hear the stories of the poor little “Plain Janes”, who sit at home on a Friday or Saturday night, without a date; while the girls with all the looks have all the fun and opportunities for love and marriage. For such pretty girls, it is always assumed that the world is their oyster. Looks are the ticket to having all your dreams come true. Right?

Terri Schiavo might disagree with you. She could tell you, that her transformation from overweight out of the limelight girl, to femme fatale, did not make all her dreams come true, and long before she became a disabled person, her marriage, fraught with trouble, was on the rocks.

Had Terri not made the effort to diet in order to reveal a stunning physical beauty, would Michael Schiavo have ever noticed her - and would her life have taken a different turn? Am I saying she should have stayed overweight? Of course not! Am I making a case against physical beauty? Not at all! I’m simply pointing out, that physical looks are no more a guarantee of happiness and love, than their lack. And I can assure you, that more times than not, they only lead to a greater disappointment, in many women, who think they’ve found their Prince Charming.

Who had Michael loved? What had he loved? Had he only loved a pretty face & figure? Once she was disabled, Terri’s family could still see the beautiful girl they loved! They state in their book, that “their love and commitment to their daughter never changed, after her disability.” She was still the same Terri to them. Why hadn’t she remained the same to Michael, her husband? So you might say, my blog today is combining marital advice along with the pro-life argument … because in my opinion, it’s all connected. For how can we value a person’s life, if we don’t know how to really love? And to know you is to love you; an old saying goes. The abortion advocates don’t want ultrasound bills passed, so that the women seeking an abortion will not see and ultimately “know” and possibly "love" for their child.

So, how well do you young people out there today think you really know the person you want to marry, or they you? If a woman can so easily discount her unborn child, because she does not really know or love it, how easy is it to be discounted by a spouse or partner, if they have failed to really know the “real” you - if they have only fallen in love with an image – a surface? Terri Schiavo paid the ultimate price for not being truly loved by her husband, for who she truly was, not just what she looked like.

All the physical beauty in the world cannot garner this kind of assurance of love. Two people need to really get to know one another before they even begin using the term “love”; for it is a word that is all too easily bantered about today. And my advice to young women especially, is to try and find that young man who comments on things about your personality and character, more so than your figure. Take the time to really get to know him also. Don’t just let yourself be swept away by emotion. Love and marriage are not what today’s secular world would have you believe. Ask yourself some tough questions. If that handsome young fellow you are so enchanted with, and who makes your heart go pitter pat, ever ends up disabled in any way, would you still love him, and stand by him? Do you have the kind of love for him that would see the two of you through anything? Perhaps many of you will quickly answer yes to this question. For when we are in the first flush of love, we often feel that “our love” is a love that will live forever and overcome all odds. I’m sure Terri and Michael Schiavo felt the same way in the beginning of their relationship. So what happened?

The diagnosis of persistent vegetative state (PVS) was invented by proponents of euthanasia within the medical industry to dehumanize the severely brain-injured, making it easier to kill them; much the same way that the child in the womb is written off by such terms as fetus, blob of tissue, pregnancy product, etc. This is linguistic gymnastics, which is being used the same today, as in World War II, Nazi Germany, to eliminate those deemed imperfect or undesirable. Terri Schiavo had become imperfect and undesirable to her husband Michael; so he eliminated her. Whatever love he believed he had felt for her, when she was physically whole, had dried up in the face of her disability.

Now, unless this comes off sounding too judgmental of people with brain damaged spouses, let me say that I’m sure we can all sympathize with a person who is married to an invalid. Michael and Terri were still very young when she collapsed and ended up disabled. One can certainly understand the fear and loneliness he must have felt at the years that lay ahead of him, married to a disabled wife, when he himself was still young. It would certainly be a tough road. It would be a lonely road in many ways; his spouse no longer being able to accompany him through life, in the same way she had when she was physically whole and healthy. Certainly most of us don’t choose to start out by marrying someone who is severely handicapped, except maybe in rare cases. We can all honestly look at ourselves and admit that the prospect of being married to a semi-comatose person, for the rest of our lives, when we are still young, is a frightening prospect. And it’s a sobering thought when considering marriage.

This is really what Terri and Michael’s story is all about. All this euthanasia tripe about the “right to die” is a lot of hooey! It all simply boils down to the fact, that there was a young man, who was facing the prospect of the rest of his life, being tied to a handicapped woman. And the euthanasia proponents, lawyers and judges, and others, took full advantage of his fears and weakness. They offered Michael a way out – one where he would have to feel no guilt about snuffing out his wife’s life - so he could move on with his own. He would be doing her a favor, they probably told him. All he’d have to do is say “she wanted it that way” – that it was “her wish”, not to have to live in a disabled body. This is not to whitewash Michael’s actions either. They are despicable! I am simply saying that, who knows what other road Michael might have ultimately taken, had the devil, dressed up in lawyer’s clothing, not appeared to give him an easy way out? Much the same way the abortion proponents of today, offer frightened and pregnant women a way out. The euthanasia proponents used Michael and Terri’s unfortunate situation, to further their own agenda. Michael’s love for Terri, was not strong enough to see her through “sickness and health”. Ok, many people’s love is not strong enough for this. So do we take advantage of their weakness, by killing off their spouses, in order to create a world wherein only the perfect are welcomed and loved? The book that Terri’s family wrote about their daughter does not put her husband Michael in a very good light; and rightfully so. But we must all honestly ask ourselves, what would we do - or what might we do, if we ever find ourselves in similar circumstances?

All these things need to be considered before we claim to love someone, and that we want to spend the rest of our lives with them. There are many noble stories of loving married couples, who stayed together after one of them was seriously injured and disabled – the case of the actor Christopher Reeve and his wife for one. And I know there are many others out there who are able to love their spouse to a heroic degree through any and all trials.

This is what all young couples must consider before they take that walk down the aisle, or make that impassioned statement of love to another. Be honest with ourselves, and ask, if we are able to love another to a heroic degree. Or will we fail, in the face of adversity or calamity?

A human being can never be a vegetable! Michael did not marry a human being, who suddenly turned into a turnip! That’s preposterous! The term vegetable does not apply to humans, in any kind of way. It is simply a clever play on words, to justify eliminating someone who puts our love to the test. So, before you marry someone, consider that they will be the same person who stands next to you on your wedding day, no matter what physical, mental or other changes they may go through. They will not become an artichoke!